at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
