He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i came on her dog
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
