She said her name was "party"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Someone signed my nipple.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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