I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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