Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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