I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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