doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize