I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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