Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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