Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
