I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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