you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY