My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
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Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
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I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade