I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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