called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
