Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
