I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
