i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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