Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We need to rekindle our bromance
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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