hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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