She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
