it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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