she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
