Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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