You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
