I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
