see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
