he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
