hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
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We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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