I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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