4 words: hood of his car
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
