Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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