I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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