the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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