Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
