She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
