I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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