did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
