So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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