Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
