Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
