Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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