my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
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Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
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We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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