He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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