ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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