Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
