before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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