His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
