If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
