dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
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He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
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Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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