It's just like the Real World with babies
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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