evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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