Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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