sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
