i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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