I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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