i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
