omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I will be naked everywhere
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
