i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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