life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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