I wish i was in the wii world.
i wish my penis had a tongue
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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