I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Panties = found
Randomize
