i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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