Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
