My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
