I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
