she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
